In my book Let Him Chase You I talk about ghosting, which is basically when a man suddenly stops contacting you for no apparent reason. I’ve experienced it. Plenty of women have experienced this frustrating situation — it hurts, but it’s not the end of the world. The beat goes on.
But what happens when the guy suddenly calls or texts you again out of the blue, like months or even years later? What should you do?
I think deep down you already know the answer, but before I state it, just think about this scenario critically and logically (another strong suggestion I make in my book).
The guy disappeared. Most guys only disappear for one of two reasons:
1) He met someone else or is back with his ex
2) He’s just not that into you
In both of these cases, the guy didn’t think much of you as a person or care about your feelings. To him you’re like some basic “extra” playing a part in his movie called Life, where of course he plays the starring role.
So knowing this, when he texts you out of the blue to say “hey what’s up?” Do you really think it’s because he’s been thinking about you a lot and really missed you so much…
he was dumped, is lonely or feeling horny and figures he’ll see if one of the women who he dissed in the past is desperate enough to give him attention and sexual favors today? He may have sent the same text to 10 other women, one after the other.
You really have to be careful of these ghosters who reappear out of the blue because they might have some really selfish motivation for contacting you all of a sudden. For instance, what if he contracted an STI and now he’s trolling for dates from anyone who will answer?
You know what to do when this guy texts you out of nowhere. Block and ignore. If you’ve experienced this a lot in your past it might even be a good idea to change your number and start fresh. That phone number transfer service has kept a lot of those “out of the blue” dudes in business!
Be careful, be smart, be strong, be logical and be selective. Remember YOU are the prize, and if he couldn’t see that and show you the proper respect the first time around, chances are that he’s just not the one for you.