Lies We Women Tell Ourselves and Guys When Dating

Here are a few little white lies that we women sometimes tell. The major concern isn’t so much that we’re lying to the guy we’re dating, but that we’re lying to ourselves. We have to get to a place of truth if we’re ever going to get what we really want out of a relationship OR get to a place where we’re happily single.

I’m Not Looking for a Serious Relationship

Have you ever said “I’m not really looking for anything serious” or “I don’t want a commitment” when you’re just getting to know a guy? It’s a lie, because we’re all ultimately looking for a serious relationship with someone who will care and love us for many years. Who wants to continuously date forever? And we all know by now that friends with benefits sucks! There are three possible truths behind the “I’m not looking for a serious relationship” statement:

• “I’m not sure that I’m ready for anything serious with you, but I’ll still date you for now to see if I like you more later.”
• “I’m already dating someone else that I like, and hoping that he’ll want something serious with me at some point.”
• “I’m scared that you’ll think I’m clingy and not want to date me, so I’ll pretend that I’m not looking for something serious from the start.”

I Don’t Usually Do This Type of Thing

Women are in a constant battle with themselves to appear as if they are perfect and unsullied. So when placed in a potentially compromising position, the first words uttered are usually “I don’t usually do this, you know.” There’s no need to do that. Even if you haven’t actually done the thing before, you are doing it now. There’s nothing virtuous about it being your first time doing the thing — if the guy isn’t that into you, he’s going to leave you alone afterwards either way.

I Don’t Let People In

This is another silly lie that women tell themselves and other guys — especially when they’ve been hurt before. The truth is that girls and women let people in too much, which is why they are continuously getting hurt. It’s healthy to guard yourself from being used and abused by a guy, but don’t put up a pretend fortress around yourself knowing that you do want to let the right person in at some point. That can create bitterness, which isn’t healthy.

I Just Want to Play the Field

Remember when Charlotte from Sex and the City decided to try her hand at playing the field with men? She dated two guys on the same night and ended up with egg on her face. She lost both guys because they looked at her as deceptive and promiscuous. When women say they just want to “play the field” it’s another lie, because playing just isn’t that fun for us — especially not in the long run. It’s not fun in the long run for men either, but they also don’t want to admit it. At some point you want to settle down — whether you’re with someone or choosing to remain single.

Women are also not capable of playing the field the way that men are. It’s a hard fact to swallow, but it’s the truth. Females are so much more vulnerable to risks when dating and sleeping around with multiple men at the same time that it’s just not worth it.

These are some of the lies that we women tell ourselves. There comes a point in your life when we have to tell the truth so that we can be set free.

Submitted by Jade