A lot of women who find themselves in unsuccessful relationships want to know: “why do I keep dating the same guy over and over again?”
The easy answer is that you’re attracting the same guy with your energy, actions, beliefs and words. But I think it goes even deeper than this. Here’s one theory that many psychologists and relationship experts believe is the reason behind why women who have a hard time finding love keep choosing the same types of men over and over.
I believe this theory because I have personally experienced it.
The Dad Effect
It’s a proven fact (maybe not scientific but definitely experiential) that women often date men who are a lot like their fathers. This can be a good or a bad thing based on what a woman’s father was like.
Women who have dads who have serious problems (like alcoholism, drugs and abuse) or are absent often actively attract men who mimic those traits. They attract troubled and unavailable men.
The Cycle Begins
Then what happens is that the woman subconsciously tries to resolve her issues with her father (the first man in her life) with the men that she dates. She tries to “fix” him, mold him, make him love her or make him stay forever. She supports him and loves him in every way — even when it isn’t reciprocated.
When this woman is unsuccessful making a man love her and stay, which is almost always the case, she relives the devastation of losing or feeling unloved by her father and then repeats the process with another guy. The same type of guy as before. It happens over and over again.
It’s like a vicious cycle, but like any cycle, it can be broken. The first key to breaking this common pattern is to recognize that it’s a problem.
Do you seem to attract the same type of guy over and over again? Guys that hurt you and leave you feeling empty or unfulfilled?
Do you think that it’s because you’re still trying to make a past relationship right?
If so, knowing this, what can you do to stop this pattern from repeating again? Here are a few tips:
Talk to someone.
Release the past so that you can move forward & date better.
Learn true love for self before you try to give your love to another.