I once followed an average looking everyday guy on social media and commented on one of his posts with a laugh. Out of nowhere, a young girl appeared and in not so many words told me to “back off her man.”
It turned out that this girl was his “twifey” meaning she had never even met him! She just “claimed” him on social media and now she felt that it was her duty to swoop in to keep him from talking to the countless other girls he chats with on a daily basis.
I’ve also heard stories from women on Twitter who say that whenever a new guy follows them, four or five girls follow soon after. They are all stalking his account and monitoring his communications.
And it’s not just young teens. I’ve seen several cases of grown women fighting over one man on Twitter who neither of them have ever met.
This reminds me of a scene in The 10 Commandments movie where six sisters get all dolled up, dress provocatively and dance in competition for one man (Moses in the story). Ironically, he picked none of them. He lavished their attention but none of them caught his eye — he chose the one who kept to herself and stayed busy with other things.
I just want to know, not to be judgmental, but to spark thought on some solutions: what has caused this eagerness and desperation in so many young girls and women when it comes to men? The young people call it being “thirsty.”
When I was younger, we were a little boy crazy, but we had respect for ourselves and knew better than to chase boys down — especially if they were spreading themselves all around town. So what has happened over the past couple of decades that has made girls lose themselves? Here are a few theories:
1) Lack of loving fathers. Girls who do not have that strong fatherly figure in their lives at a young age don’t really know how to be around boys. They also cling because they’re afraid of them walking out like their fathers did. They may have also seen their mothers constantly compromise themselves for the sake of men.
2) The growth of social media as a negative influence on young girls. A lot of teens and young people spend almost all day chatting on social media websites. Young girls and women are bombarded with negative messages from young boys telling them how to look, how to be and how to act. They also see sexy photos of girls who their “crushes” worship and feel the need to compete (never mind that their boy crushes are ignored by those attention-seeking women).
And maybe it’s that social media has just made this desperate behavior from girls more transparent.
3) Degrading music and television that pretty much tells girls they’re worthless. Media influences period. If all a girl listens to are songs referring to her as a bitch or television shows showing women fighting over men, how will she get the confidence to prioritize her self-worth over a boy that she likes?
There are countless other theories, but really only one solution. We have to teach the young girls we know about self-respect and self-esteem from an early age. They have to know that they matter more than anything or anyone else. We have to show them — not just tell them, which means we have to believe wholeheartedly in our own self-worth. They also need to be taught to diversify their lives and get a hobby outside of chasing boys around. I’m putting the year on this post (2014) because I’m sincerely hoping that in future years this behavior will become a thing of the past!
When a man wants you, he wants you, and he’ll come for YOU. There is no need to be “thirsty” for him. You don’t have to feel insecure or compete with other women for what is TRULY yours.