Some women think that they will scare a man away if they express that they are interested in a serious relationship.
So instead of being clear about their desires, they pander to what they think the guy will want. They’ll say “I just want a friend with benefits” even though the truth is that they really really want a BOYFRIEND. So what do they usually get? A friends with benefits and eventually a lot of hurt feelings.
Here’s a newsflash: most guys want a confident woman who isn’t afraid to express her needs and desires. Most of them know that you are lying when you tell them that you don’t want a boyfriend. But they go along with it for the time being because you make it easy.
One more newsflash: a lot of guys actually want a girlfriend! They want the security of having a loyal woman by their side. Assuming all of the other priorities line up (good looking, sexy, supportive yet not afraid to voice her opinions, confident and someone they like to be around) they will most likely want you as a girlfriend. But if you can’t even be bold enough to tell him what you really want from the beginning, what does that say about your future with him?
A guy told me something once that I didn’t take seriously until recently. He said that women could have pretty much anything they wanted if they went after it.
I don’t take that to mean she should chase after a guy, but that she should be committed to getting EXACTLY what she wants from a man. In other words, if you really want to have a boyfriend, you have to hold to that goal steadfastly. Demand what you want and it will come to you. If he isn’t willing or able to give you what you demand out of the relationship, find that out early so that you will not waste any more of your time than necessary.
One thing to keep in mind is this: whenever you compromise your own needs, wants, desires or dreams for the same of someone else, you are heading in the wrong direction. Get back on track starting today.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.