Maintaining a friends with benefits relationship may sound great in theory, but in practice it can be a lot more complicated!
If you’ve ever been in a relationship that can only be defined as a friends with benefits situation, you know that there are some downsides to this seemingly ideal arrangement.
Defining a Friends with Benefits Relationship
Some people start off on the wrong foot of a friends with benefits relationship because they don’t even realize that they are in one! They may have initially thought that things were going in a positive direction towards something more, but soon learn, sometimes too late, that the relationship isn’t going any further than it already has. Then it becomes more and more difficult to end things cleanly.
Let’s clarify the definition of a friends with benefits relationship: it is one where the two people have an understanding that they are absolutely not in a committed relationship. The sole purpose of the relationship is physical pleasure and occasional companionship.
As simple as that sounds, most FWB relationships don’t turn out well.
Feelings Get Involved on One Side
It is very rare that two people can date for a long, extended period of time without one side catching feelings for the other, especially since physical closeness is a part of a FWB relationship. This is the reason why friends with benefits relationships usually don’t last past a few months.
Once one person starts to show too much emotion, the other start trying to move on. Most of the time it is the female in a male-female FWB relationship that tends to become emotionally involved because of a chemical called oxytocin, but there are some cases where the female has the upper hand and will end a FWB relationship because she’s “just not that into him.”
Breaking it Off When You Find Someone New
When you have gotten yourself caught up in a friends with benefits situation, you have tied yourself to that person in a very serious way by sleeping together so often. So when you meet someone new who you actually might want to get serious with, it becomes difficult to break it off with the other friend. It’s especially hard when the other person seems to have developed some feelings for you.
This can create an awkward situation for everyone involved (including the new person) — there are almost certainly going to be some feelings that get hurt. That’s why if you’re looking for a serious relationship in the near future, it’s probably best to stay celibate instead of taking on a “buddy” as a fill in. Be patient and wait for that someone who you could actually see yourself mutually bonding with on more than just a physical level.
Guest Post by Jade
Learn more about FWB relationships and how to avoid them in the eBook Friends with Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women).