Some of us have been hurt by men so much in the past that we have a hard time trusting any of them. This plays out in so many different ways.
It causes us to believe that all men are going to cheat or that all of them are dogs or all of them are up to something.
I realize that I have some trust issues myself, every time I have to allow a strange man into my house, whether it is a plumber or the cable man.
I dress bummy and try to look as unattractive as possible. I put on a frown and prepare to be unfriendly. I expect that if I let my guard down he might try to take advantage of my kindness. Whenever possible I try to hire a woman for a job to avoid dealing with a man who might try to take advantage of me for being a woman.
While I think it is important for women to protect themselves by any means necessary, I also understand the law of attraction. It says that when you focus on your lack of trust for others you’ll either attract non-trustworthy people OR you’ll become a person who others don’t trust.
I don’t want either, so a slight change in mindset is in order.
Men Can Definitely Do More to Help
While we can’t change the way men conduct themselves (you only have power over your own actions) I do agree that men could definitely do more to make women trust them more. That starts with understanding and respecting women. It starts with treating women like people instead of as targets or objects for sex. It starts with letting go of sexist ideas.
If you’re hurt or used by 10 men in a row, it’s going to be extremely hard to trust that 11th guy, who might be a really great person.
But again, we can only control our own life and actions, so the answer is to actively attract good, decent, trustworthy men into your life.
How Do You Do That?
If you’re having trouble with untrustworthy men coming into your life, here is how you attract better men:
1) Believe and proclaim that only trustworthy, honest men are allowed to come into your life
2) Deal with each man you come across in a fair and balanced manner, without immediately assuming that he will try to take advantage of you
3) Listen to your intuition always. It will almost immediately tell you if he is a trustworthy person. Remember: the eyes are the gateway to the soul, so look to them for answers
4) If the man does do something to cause you to to not trust him, remove him from your life as soon as possible
5) Reaffirm to yourself that not all men are bad and untrustworthy like that last guy. Reaffirm that only trustworthy, decent men are allowed in your space
According to the law of attraction, eventually what you believe will start to manifest in your life: trustworthy men (and women).
This is good advice that I obviously have to take myself, starting today.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.