One of the memes that society uses to pressure women into rushed relationships is the dreaded “cat lady.”
No woman wants to become “the cat lady” with 10 cats living in her house!
But if you think about it, is it really so bad to be the cat lady?
I think a lot of cat ladies are cat ladies by choice. I think many of them are happy. I think they are probably content — even more content then women who are trapped in miserable relationships at that stage in life.
Think about it.
My theory, which I write about in my eBook, is that women have a hierarchy of needs when it comes to men. They want a protector, a provider, a friend and then a lover.
So let’s analyze the cat lady.
At that stage of life, she’s probably learned how to protect herself. She has a big shot gun loaded and ready. She has a security system and is part of the neighborhood watch. She’s an older lady so people probably don’t bother her much anyway.
At that stage the cat lady probably has what she needs to provide for her basic needs — food and shelter. She’s no longer concerned about worldly things.
With a few exceptions, she doesn’t have the strong desire for sex and attention that she did when she was younger.
And her friend? Mr. Cat. He’s always there. He follows her around all day, sleeps with her, cuddles with her and gives her a purpose for each day. He has to be fed and loved, that’s all.
Now you might think this is a sad story, because you’ve been taught that you need a human companion (namely a man) in order to be happy.
But I don’t think the cat lady is as sad as you may think. She is free to do as she pleases. She doesn’t have to fight with anyone or justify her decisions. She doesn’t have to sacrifice her own needs to take care of someone else. She can travel and see the world if she wants, the cats will be okay.
I think what’s even sadder than the cat lady is going through life desperately settling for unfulfilling relationships with men, just because you’re afraid of being alone. Everyone wants to find love, and when you DO it is awesome and totally worth the extra efforts you have to put forth. But unfortunately a lot of women are settling and being pressured by society to do things that ulimately make them unhappy.
And you know what’s ironic? The independent cat lady is in high demand! Single men her age and older want her bad, especially if she still looks good. They want someone to take care of them, and a young woman is not going to do that.
But the smart cat lady is content and probably doesn’t want to complicate her life with a man at that point. She has what she needs. She would most likely only allow a man into her life if it was true love, effortless and blissful.
So the next time someone tries to scare you by telling you you’re on your way to being the cat lady if you don’t meet a man, think about this post. It might prompt you to respond,
“Maybe that’s not the worst thing in the world.”
Then go out there and get yourself a cat.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.