You know how sometimes you get a feeling that what you’re about to do is an exercise in futility? Or just that it is the wrong move? Even when it seems that it is your only option?
There’s a weird, almost queasy feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach and of course that gentle voice is telling you “don’t bother” “don’t do it” or “just wait.”
I had this feeling and experience recently. I wanted to buy a gift of a Nutribullet for someone, and needed it urgently. Against my better judgment I went to Walmart’s online store and tried their “site to store same day pickup” option. They held my $$ but to make a long story short, there was no same day pickup as promised. Nor next day. Same day somehow turned into 15 days, even though they had the thing in stock. Walmart’s customer service was completely unhelpful. No logic was involved. I had to cancel the order and figure something else out.
Flustered and inconvenienced, I decided I would just go into a Walmart near me to buy the thing a second time. I was about to again give my money to the same company that had just jerked me around. Right before hitting the highway, that feeling came over me: it said, “this is not the right way, just wait.” I resisted at first, because I really wanted to give this gift, but then I suddenly just turned my car around and went home.
On my way to the giftee’s house I passed a Target store. I made it across four lanes of traffic to get off the exit (thanks to the kindness of a pickup truck driver), because I knew this would be the solution. And it was — they had the Nutribullet for the same price as Walmart. The clerks were very kind and helpful. Long story short, I was able to give my gift exactly as planned.
Listen to That Voice!
The point of this little story is to express the importance of listening to that feeling and that voice that tells you to stop, chill or relax. This voice speaks to you loudly when you’re in or starting a relationship that’s just not right.
Why waste time and energy, years or even months, with someone who you know deep down isn’t for you? Someone who treats you badly or ignores your needs?
Establishing a SUCCESSFUL relationship should not be a rush to the finish line. It is more of a healthy jog with the one you’re getting to know. When you jog together you have time to figure out if you actually like the person and get cues from your intuition on whether or not to keep going.
I know countless people who rushed into relationships with people who they secretly can’t stand. (Similar to how I was about to rush into yet another transaction with a company that I don’t particularly like.) Who has the time, energy or patience for all of that?
Listen to your intuition–sometimes if you wait, you relax, you stop and review the situation, you’ll find that something better is right around the corner.
Lynn Gilliard is the author of the relationship guide Let Him Chase YOU (available soon) and the eBook Friends With Benefits SUCKS (At Least for Women). She is an in-demand writer and transformational blogger helping people get in touch with their inner greatness.